Holiday Text Filters

How Holiday Filters Work

Technical Implementation:

• Hook: "holiday" - fires for ALL text output before display
• Date Check: Compares current date (mm-dd) to activation setting
• If match: Pass ALL game text through munge() function
• Munge function: Performs regex/string replacements on text
• Returns transformed text for display
• Server-wide: Affects ALL players simultaneously

Scope:

• Everything: Combat text, navigation, commentary, news, descriptions, dialogue, items, buffs, locations, NPCs
• Preserves: Color codes (backtick formatting), line breaks, special characters
• Method: Replace color codes with placeholders → transform text → restore color codes
• Example: `` `2green text`` → [G]GREEN TEXT → `` `2GREEN TEXT`` (preserves `2)

Cannot Opt Out:

• No user preference to disable
• Logged-in players ALL affected
• Only way to avoid: Don't play on holiday date
• Admins can disable module or change activation date

ALL CAPS Day (October 22)

Module: holiday_allcaps.php

Author: sixf00t4, modified for HogwartsLive

Activation: Default October 22 (configurable)

Inspiration: CAPS LOCK DAY

Transformation:

• Converts ALL text to UPPERCASE
• Preserves color codes, special commands (/me, `n, `b, etc.)
• That's it. No fancy replacements. JUST CAPS.

Example Transformations:

• "You attack the troll" → "YOU ATTACK THE TROLL"
• "Welcome to Hogwarts Live!" → "WELCOME TO HOGWARTS LIVE!"
• "This seems unnecessarily loud" → "THIS SEEMS UNNECESSARILY LOUD"

Purpose:

• Celebrates CAPS LOCK DAY internet holiday
• Simulates everyone YELLING ALL THE TIME
• Mildly annoying for 24 hours
• Extremely funny for first 10 minutes, then exhausting

April Fools (April 1)

Module: holiday_fools.php

Activation: Default April 1 (configurable)

Language: Swedish Chef (Muppets)

Transformation Rules:

• ". " → ". Bork bork. " (signature Swedish Chef phrase)
• ", " → ", bork, "
• " h" → " hoor"
• " v" → " veer"
• "g " → "gen "
• " p" → " pere"
• " qu" → " quee"
• "n " → "nen "
• "e " → "eer "
• "s " → "ses "

Example Transformations:

• "You have slain the troll. You gain gold." → "Yoo havee slainen ther hooroolleen. Bork bork. Yoo gainen golden. Bork bork."
• "The village is peaceful today." → "Ther veerllagee is pereeacefulleen today."
• "Attack with your weapon, quickly!" → "Attack weeth yoor weeapornen, queeeeckly!"

Purpose:

• April Fools Day prank
• References Muppets Swedish Chef character
• Barely comprehensible text for comedic effect
• Bork bork.

LOLCat Day (August 8)

Module: holiday_lolcat.php

Author: Danilo Stern-Sapad (site owner)

Activation: Default August 8 (configurable)

Language: LOLcat/LOLspeak (I Can Has Cheezburger meme)

Comprehensive Transformation (208 lines of regex!):

• "can i please have a" → "i can has" (signature phrase)
• "the" → "teh" (classic typo)
• "is" → "ar teh" or "ar" or "is" (random variants)
• "you" → "u" or "yu" or "yoo" or "yous" (multiple variants)
• "your" → "ur" or "yur" or "yoar" or "yore"
• "are" → "r" or "is" or "ar"
• "love" → "luv" or "lub" or "loves" or "lubs"
• "for" → "4" or "fr" or "foar" or "fur"
• "thank" → "fank" or "tank" or "thx" or "thnx"
• "really" → "rily" or "rilly" or "rly"
• "world" → "wurrld" or "whirld" or "wrld" or "wurld"
• "what" → "wut" or "whut"
• "my" → "muh" or "mah"
• "like" → "liek" or "likes"
• "ok/okay" → "'k" or "kay"
• "more" → "moar"
• "please" → "eez"
• "seriously" → "srsly"
• "just" → "jus"
• "now" → "nao"
• "year" → "yer"
• "first" → "furst"
• "pretty" → "pritee"
• "cat" → "kat"
• "cool" → "kewl"
• "bye" → "bai" (or "bai bai" → "kthxbye")
• "hello/hi/hey/yo" → "oh hai" or "hay"
• "ing" endings → "in" or "ins"
• "er" endings → "r"
• "s" endings → "z"
• "y" endings → "eh"
• Remove apostrophes entirely
• THEN: UPPERCASE EVERYTHING

Special Replacements:

• "Headmaster Danilo" → "teh katz meow" (self-deprecating humor)
• "God" → "kewl kat"
• "Goddess" → "pritee kat"
• "Firstyearboy" → "kitteh boi"
• "Firstyeargirl" → "kitteh gurl"
• "fuck" → "purr"
• "bitch" → "queen"

Example Transformations:

• "You attack the troll with your weapon" → "YOO ATTAK TEH TRULL WIF UR WEPUN"
• "Can I please have a healing potion?" → "I CAN HAS HEELINZ PUSHUN?"
• "Hello! How are you today?" → "OH HAI! HOW AR YOO 2DAY?"
• "Thank you for the gold, my friend!" → "THNX FUR TEH GULD, MAH FREND!"
• "The cat is really cool!" → "TEH KAT AR TEH RILLY KEWL!"
• "I love this game seriously" → "IM LUB DIS GAYM SRSLY"
• "Goodbye for now, see you later" → "BAI FUR NAO, SEE YOO L8R"

Random Variants:

• Uses e_rand() to select from multiple replacement options
• Same sentence can transform differently on different pages
• Adds variety/unpredictability to transformations
• Example: "you" might become "u", "yu", "yoo", or "yous" randomly

Purpose:

• Celebrates LOLcat/I Can Has Cheezburger internet meme culture
• Most complex transformation (208 lines of regex!)
• Completely destroys readability for 24 hours
• Extremely detailed implementation shows Danilo had WAY too much fun writing this

Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19)

Module: holiday_pirate.php

Activation: Default September 19 (configurable)

Inspiration: International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Transformation Rules:

• "you" → "ye"
• "your" → "yer"
• "the " → "th' " (with space)
• "It's/it's" → "It be/it be"
• "ers " → "erz "
• "for" → "fer"
• "my " → "me "
• " of " → " o' "
• " is " → " be "
• " am " → " be "
• " says " → " sez "
• " and " → " an' "
• " to " → " t' "
• "ing " endings → "in' " (sailin', fightin', etc.)
• " he/she " → " that scalliwag "
• "hello" → "ahoy"
• "money/gold" → "pieces o' eight"

Random Additions (25% chance each):

• "!" → ", har!" (25% chance)
• ". " → ", arr. " (25% chance)
• ", " → ", matey, " (25% chance)
• ". " → ". Avast, " (25% chance)

Example Transformations:

• "You attack the troll with your weapon!" → "Ye attack th' troll with yer weapon, har!"
• "Hello, my friend. How are you today?" → "Ahoy, me friend, matey. How be ye today?"
• "I am going to the village for gold." → "I be goin' t' th' village fer pieces o' eight, arr."
• "The warrior says she is fighting the dragon!" → "Th' warrior sez that scalliwag be fightin' th' dragon, har!"
• "It's a beautiful day for sailing!" → "It be a beautiful day fer sailin', har!"

Purpose:

• Celebrates real-world International Talk Like A Pirate Day (Sept 19)
• Pirates are thematically appropriate for fantasy RPG
• More readable than Swedish Chef or LOLcat
• Arr, matey!

Admin Configuration

All Modules Have Same Settings:

• activate: Activation date in mm-dd format (e.g., "10-22", "4-1", "8-8", "9-19")
• Admins can change date to any calendar day
• Can run multiple holidays simultaneously (though NOT recommended - text becomes incomprehensible)
• Can disable by setting impossible date (e.g., "13-32")

Installation:

• Core modules (included with LoGD/HogwartsLive)
• Hook: "holiday" - all modules use same hook
• Multiple holiday modules can coexist
• If dates overlap, transformations STACK (text becomes gibberish)

Testing:

• Change activation date to today (mm-dd)
• Reload page → text immediately transformed
• Change back to original date when testing complete
• No server restart required (date check happens per page load)

Player Strategy

You Cannot Escape:

• No opt-out setting
• No preference to disable
• No workaround (short of not playing)
• Embrace the chaos

Communication Tips:

• Commentary/chat ALSO transformed (all text affected)
• Keep messages simple (complex sentences become incomprehensible)
• Expect typos/confusion from other players
• Avoid important strategic discussions on holiday dates
• Use Owls (private messages) - also transformed, but at least private confusion

Combat Strategy:

• Combat text transformed but MECHANICS unchanged
• Can still fight normally, just harder to read results
• Buff/debuff names transformed ("`QUnselfishness" → various spellings)
• Enemy names transformed ("Troll" → "TRULL" on LOLcat day)
• No gameplay impact, purely cosmetic

Navigation:

• Navigation links ALSO transformed
• Example: "Return to Village" → "RETURN TO VILLAGE" (CAPS)
• Example: "Forest" → "Forrest" or "Furrest" (pirate/LOLcat)
• Links still work (href unchanged, only display text affected)
• Memorize link positions if text too confusing

Survival:

• It's only 24 hours
• Laugh at the absurdity
• Take screenshots for posterity
• Complain in commentary (which is also transformed, creating recursive chaos)
• Plan important tasks for non-holiday dates
• Appreciate the effort (especially LOLcat's 208 lines of regex)

Technical Notes

Color Code Preservation:

• All modules preserve backtick color codes (`2, `^, `%, etc.)
• Method: Replace with placeholders ([N], [B], [G], etc.) → transform → restore
• Ensures formatting survives text munging
• Example: `` `2Green text`` → [G]GREEN TEXT → `` `2GREEN TEXT``

Special Character Preservation:

• /me, `n (newline), `b (bold), `c (center), `i (italic), etc.
• Converted to placeholders before transformation
• Restored after transformation
• Prevents breaking formatting codes

Performance:

• Runs on EVERY page load for EVERY player
• Regex-heavy (especially LOLcat with 208 lines)
• Minor performance impact (acceptable for 24-hour event)
• Server load increases slightly on holiday dates

Stacking Holidays:

• If multiple holidays active (overlapping dates): Transformations STACK
• Example: CAPS + Pirate = "YE ATTACK TH' TROLL, ARR, MATEY!"
• Example: LOLcat + Swedish Chef = complete gibberish (NOT recommended)
• Admin best practice: Only one holiday active at a time

History & Cultural Context

ALL CAPS Day:

• Internet holiday celebrating CAPS LOCK key
• Origin: Derek Arnold's CAPS LOCK DAY (2000)
• Celebrates YELLING ON THE INTERNET
• October 22 or June 28 (depending on tradition)

April Fools Day:

• Traditional prank day (April 1)
• Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show (1975)
• Character speaks mock Swedish with "Bork bork bork" catchphrase
• Perfect for confusing text transformation prank

LOLCat/LOLspeak:

• Internet meme from I Can Has Cheezburger (2007)
• Cat photos with intentionally misspelled captions
• Signature phrases: "I can has", "Oh hai", "kthxbye"
• Peak popularity: 2007-2012
• HogwartsLive implementation (2009-ish) shows dedication to meme culture

Talk Like A Pirate Day:

• Created by John Baur and Mark Summers (1995)
• Popularized by Dave Barry column (2002)
• September 19 annually
• Widely celebrated internet holiday
• Arr, matey! Avast! Pieces o' eight!

Limitations

• No Opt-Out: Players cannot disable (server-wide effect)
• 24-Hour Duration: Lasts entire calendar day (00:00-23:59 server time)
• Readability: Some transformations (Swedish Chef, LOLcat) severely impact readability
• Communication Difficulty: Chat/commentary transformed, making coordination harder
• Stacking Chaos: Multiple holidays simultaneously = incomprehensible text
• Performance Cost: Regex on every page load (minor but measurable)
• No Granularity: Cannot exclude specific text (e.g., combat vs. navigation)
• Cultural Specificity: English-language memes may confuse non-English speakers
• Meme Dated: LOLcat peaked 2007-2012 (still funny, but "vintage")