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MamaUmbridge aka Dolores Jane Umbridge is a 30 year old (DOB: April 1, 1992) wizard. He is a member of the unsorted masses of Hogwarts students just off the train eagerly crowding around the Sorting Hat.

About Me

"Rule number one: No boys...unless they're cute! Rule number two: No alcohol...unless there's plenty to go around! Oh I'm bad! And rule number three: No parties...unless Umbridge is invited! Girls, girls keep me young, girls, you keep me young. But seriously girls, if I do catch you with any boys or alcohol I'm going to rip your perky little @%$!# off."

"We're going to be doing things around here...the UMBRIDGE WAY!"

"And from that moment forward I picked up anything that I could find and I hoisted it over my head, and I ate nothing but protein shakes, falcon eggs, and rocks."

"I am woman - hear me SMASH!"

"I wonder what would happen if I just...broke your fingers. Because then you wouldn't be able to play the guitar anymore, and then all your little friends would just leave you alone, and then you'll be just like Umbridge. Except Umbridge can kick your %$!."

"Did you get my text? ... Well you didn't text me back."

"So you're smarter than whoever wrote this book? You're smarter than...Merlin?!"

"I'm gonna suck you right up into my womb, and I'm gonna spit you back out, a little red hot titanium baby with diamond teeth."

"Omigod, Dumbledoh! Why you bein' such a lousy boyfriennn?"