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TheOne FoolscapFolio is a wizard. He is a member of Ravenclaw.

About Me
Rocketed to Earth shortly before the implosion of his home planet, the infant Foolscap was discovered nestled in his escape pod by Port ("Pa") Folio and First ("Ma") Folio, two loving if confused Muggles. His new parents raised him in a simple rent-controlled life-sized model of the Taj Mahal made entirely of oleo margarine his adoptive father constructed in New York City.

As a child he demonstrated no exceptional musical or artistic ability, or indeed any notable traits whatsoever. Often his friends and loved ones took time out from their lives to check him for a pulse.

Despite being born with a fair amount of dexterity, he discovered that he could make people happy by dropping things -- juggling beanbags, knives, the occasional niffler. His attempt to turn somersaults into a lucrative career was short-circuited when odd instances, such as the disappearance of a glass shield between him and a collection of stuffed butterflies, led to his incarceration at the Hogwarts School for Wayward Youth.

In addition to his Foolish pursuits, Foolscap is an enthusiastic music performer. He uses the lute, flute, and violin to delight his audience, kettledrums to provide dramatic counterpoints to his jokes, and bagpipes to punish listeners when the applause isn't loud enough.

He wields an 8 1/2" iron pyrite wand, with a core made from a Satyricon's beard hairs. Do not look for this particular combination in the options from Ollivander: The wand was an uncustomary custom order.

Foolscap Folio's one regret was that he was not raised a feral child.

Foolscap, please report to the Headmaster's office to explain how you gained access to this page.